250 Collaborative Divorce with Nanci Smith, Esq.

Today on the show we’re talking divorce. In the first half of the show I talk about my “divorce” and then share a bit of my experience as a divorce attorney and some general thoughts on divorce and separation. Did you know that 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce? Then in the second half of the show I am joined by Nanci A. Smith, Esq., an attorney licensed to practice in Vermont and New York. She is the chair of the Collaborative Divorce section of the Vermont Bar Association, a leader in her collaborative divorce practice group, and a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. She frequently writes and talks about divorce, family law, ethics, and collaborative divorce practices. She believes that a good divorce is possible when you show up for it with humility, compassion, and the correct support. Smith is the author of Untangling Your Marriage: A Guide to Collaborative Divorce (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Oct 11, 2022). Learn more at nancismithlaw.com.

Today Nancy explains what Collaborative Divorce is, the ways of getting divorced, the things to consider when choosing how to get divorced, how to help kids through a divorce and how to take care of yourself and rebuild after a divorce. NOTE: There was a glitch at some point during the recording of the show where 20 seconds was not picked up so there will be a less than seamless explanation when Nanci is taking about the ways of getting divorced. Apologies!

I shared from this article Why it’s so hard to leave when things aren’t working from the Elephant Journal, and the stats that I shared came from these websites. I also played a few of the songs that got me through my big separation. Those and more can be found at this playlist

https://legaljobs.io/blog/divorce-rate-in-america/

https://www.itsovereasy.com/insights/causes-of-divorce

https://memphisdivorce.com/tennessee-divorce-law/divorce-rates-statistics-and-trends-for-2022/

https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

Today’s bonus conversation with Warren is about loving yourself and seeing the signs when you’re not.

Today’s show was engineered by Ian Seda from Radiokingston.org.

Our show music is from Shana Falana!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

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#187 Anyssa Lucena “Confident Climbers”

Today’s guest is the very inspiring Anyssa Lucena. She helps women climbers gain confidence by teaching them how to overcome self-limiting beliefs, get stronger and live an empowered life through climbing. As a former rock climber, when I heard about Anyssa and her work, my curiosity led me to her website where I learned more about her background, and her story was so inspiring that I wanted to invite her on the show. Due to her schedule, we recorded our conversation last week, and I play that for you today. As you’ll hear, after having 3 kids, Anyssa suddenly realized she was deeply unhappy with her life.  Something was missing.  Her youngest was 9 months old when she asked her husband for a divorce. She was 38, suddenly a divorced – single mom of 3 kids, ages 5, 3, and 9 months and had no idea whatsoever what her future would look like.  She had left her wall street job when she had kids, and although she was well educated and experienced, she couldn’t imagine returning to a corporate environment.  She had no idea what her future would look like, but she had faith that somehow, things would work out.  Spoiler alert, things have turned out well for Anyssa, but getting there wasn’t always easy and rock climbing helped her find her way. It’s surprising how metaphorical rock climbing is for life in general.  Her story really resonated with me and I hope you enjoy it too.

Some of my favorite parts of our conversation today are about exploring fears, self compassion, mom guilt, “divorce arms,” internal validation, shifts in mindset and celebrating failure. So good!

As I mention at the end of the show, here’s the article about Menstrual Huts in India.

And here’s the article I referenced about addiction to money and power that Marielena and I will touch upon during the September 13th show.

Today’s show was engineered by Ian Seda of Radio Kingston.

Our show music is from Shana Falana !!!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT

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