intimate partner violence – i want what SHE has

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01:47:12

221 Domestic Violence and Lara Sabanosh, Author of “Caged”

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The content of today’s show won’t be uplifting, at least not most of it, but it’s real and necessary information not to be ignored or forgotten. We will be talking about intimate partner violence or domestic violence and abuse so sensitive ears may want to avoid listening. My colleague Mariel Fiori shared this first story with me and covered it on her radio show which is in Spanish, but I’ll link to it for those who are able to listen. It’s a story about a 17 year old girl, Yesmi Lara, who was severely beaten by the father of her two year old daughter. You can contribute to Yesmi Lara’s Go Fund Me.

Then I share from this article, Six Ways to Support a Loved One In An Abusive Relationship via NPR and talk about the impacts of trauma and abuse via the story of Melissa Lucio. False confessions are more common than you might think. More than a quarter of people exonerated by the Innocence Project in recent decades had confessed to the crime they allegedly committed, as Science reported.

Then there was this important news story related to abuse in the military, Air Force General Found Guilty of Sexual Assault via NPR.

Here’s the info about the Women Who Serve in the Military event happening this Friday, April 29th, and the Stand Against Racism Event at YWCA Ulster County on Friday, 4/29 at [4:30]PM.

We take a break from the heavy to talk this weekend’s NEW MOON REPORT!

In the second half of the show I welcome Lara Sabanosh who grew up in various parts of the country and for a time, lived overseas in Guantanamo Bay (GTMO), where she was an education service facilitator at the Fleet and Family Support Center and became acting director in December 2013. She spent much of her adult life as a wife, mother and student, eventually completing two doctoral degrees. Six years in the making, her new book, Caged: The True Story of Abuse, Betrayal and GTMO, is an honest and introspective memoir detailing the never-before-told other side of an international, headline story, taking readers through the first twenty years of her tumultuous marriage to Christopher Tur, to events as she lived them on the night he went missing and the aftermath. Lara is currently retired from government service, residing quietly in Pensacola, Florida, surrounded by her loving family, dogs, and grand puppies.

Lara shares about the difficulties and challenges faced when confronting and getting out of an abusive relationship, about the prevalence of abuse in the military and how they are failing to properly address it, and how she has learned to talk to her children about it and why that’s important.

Today’s show was engineered by Ian Seda of Radio Kingston.

Our show music is from Shana Falana !!!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

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01:39:59

#192 Mel Cioffi “Beyond Kegels” and Perla, Mariel, Christine, Carolyn, Maritza and Sue from “Performance sin Miedo”

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Today I get to chat (and laugh) with Dr. Melissa Cioffi, PT, the owner of New Quest Physical Therapy, a mobile physical therapy practice specializing in pelvic health Mel Cioffi is a doctor of physical therapy who “frees active folx with vaginas from endless kegels and garbage exercises so they can get their damn lives back.” She’s participating in the O+ Festival offering a class, “Beyond Kegels,” where you’ll learn the basics of what the pelvic floor is, does, and how to condition yours beyond kegels alone. You will learn how breathwork can be incorporated with your deep abdominals and pelvic floor. This will be for AFAB participants (I am not trained in pelvic floor conditioning related to AMAB people…yet!) Join her Sunday, October 10th from [1:15]-[2:15] at the Yoga House.

In the second half of today’s show I get to speak with several members of the Performance sin Miedo, a community event bringing awareness to ending violence against women. Joining the conversation are co-organizers, Perla Ayora and Mariel Fiori; choir director, Christine Gevert; cellist, Carolyn Leschuza; and community singers Maritza Del Razo and Sue Weed.

Violence against women and girls is one of the most serious, widespread, deep-rooted and tolerated human rights violations in the world. Women and girls suffer various types of violence in all areas of their lives and under multiple manifestations: at home, in public spaces, at school, at work, in cyberspace, in the community, in politics, in institutions, among others. According to UN Women Mexico, globally, 1 in 3 women has suffered physical and / or sexual violence throughout their lives, and in some countries this proportion increases to 7 out of 10. Another unpleasant record: 14 of the 25 countries with the highest number of femicides are in Latin America and the Caribbean. In Mexico, 43.9% of women have experienced violence from their current or last partner.

And in the United States we are not left behind in statistics concerning the violent patriarchy. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, every minute almost 20 people are physically abused by their partner; in a year this is equivalent to more than 10 million people.

Because of these type of numbers, and because of specific cases that we know here in the Hudson Valley and beyond, it is that a score of Spanish-speaking women, led by choral director Christine Gevert, with the support of two radio program hosts, Perla Ayora of No me digas, and Mariel Fiori, of La Voz con Mariel Fiori, on Radio Kingston, unite our voices for a Performance without fear, free and open to the public. All people who support the global cause, against femicide and against violence against women, are invited to bring their banners and join in on Sunday, October 10 at 4 p.m. at the Parking Lot of the Kingston Court House, 285 Wall Street. The event will be livestreamed and English interpretation will be provided.

What will happen at the Performance without Fear / Performance sin miedo? Everyone is invited to join in singing the Spanish language feminist anthem that went around the world in 2019 and that began in Chile thanks to the Las Tesis Collective, A rapist on your way, with strong and powerful lyrics: Patriarchy is a our judge, that imprisons us at birth, and our punishment is the violence you don’t see. After this song, several people will have the opportunity to share their experience with gender violence, from the organizers and participants, to women who work in organizations that provide resources to help survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking.

Finally, we will sing another feminist hymn, The song without fear by Vivir Quintana, with the arrangement of Paz Court. When she gave her permission for this performance in Kingston,Chilean composer and singer Paz Court, who arranged the Song without fear, which was sung by El Palomar choir for the first time, said: “Thank you for joining your voices and helping to spread this message around the world”.

We have changed some of the names that are mentioned in the song for cases that the group wanted to highlight, such as Vanessa Guillén, Nicole “Nikki” Addimando, and Marielle Franco. In the revised lyrics, we also recognize the thousands of immigrant women who are waiting to reach the United States and are now in overcrowded shelters in Mexico.

Christine Gevert, founder and choral artistic director of Crescendo, in charge of preparing the participating Spanish-speaking women, said “I feel very honored to be able to be a part and help in this initiative. I realize that I have been privileged in my life thus far and I live in a safe ‘bubble’ here in the Northwest corner of CT. I frequently experienced sexual harassment on the streets of Chile growing up, but I never thought much about it as it was part of our reality and we got used to dealing with it. I did not realize how much domestic violence, especially against women, is still a problem in this country, and in the countries of Latin America and in our neighbor Mexico!”

For more information or to participate, email lavoz@radiokingston.org

We also listened to the songs, “New Moon” by Breanna Barbara who is playing the O+ Festival Friday at 8:30pm at Keegan Ale’s, and “Right Now is All We Know” by Shana Falana who’s performing at 7:45pm Friday evening at the County Lot. If you’re listening to the podcast version grab the link to the playlist above.

And DON’T FORGET about Marielena’s “The Art of Living Together” also happening as part of the O+ Festival all weekend long! Check the schedule for details.