Female State of Mind

“So not every female human being is necessarily a woman; she must take part in this mysterious and endangered reality known as femininity. Is femininity secreted by the ovaries? Is it enshrined in a Platonic heaven? Is a frilly petticoat enough to bring it down to earth? Although some women zealously strive to embody it, the model has never been patented.” Simone de Beauvoir.

This seems like a good place to start. It may not be where we end because this is a big subject. One that has been studied and debated by many scholars and will continue to evolve as we evolve as humans and our society evolves as the collective of we humans. This discussion is not meant to reinvent the wheel or suggest that I have the answer that someone else hasn’t already shared. It’s not meant to suggest that this is the one and only definition of female, and that there can be no others. No, it’s really about establishing where my head is at so that you know where I’m coming from, so that we’re working from the same foundation in how we define the words that shape the work and the thoughts here.

Let’s start with some of the easier points. For our purposes, female is essentially the embodiment of the feminine. We’re using it as an adverb, not a noun. It does not mean gender although many women tend to embody female “characteristics” well, not always, but often.  However, we all have the potential for embodying both feminine and masculine qualities and many of us already do. Yes, let’s look for opportunities to recognize and honor the embodiment of the feminine in a male body hoping that one day, there will be no need to distinguish between the two. So for the purposes of this work, this philosophy, this opinion, female is the feminine regardless of what it looks like or what shape it comes in.

But what does it look like? How do we know it when we see it? This is the real work. This is where things get difficult and confusing, gender lines get blurred and challenged and emotions get triggered when identity is challenged or perceived to be judged. So let’s start with something less personal, the female in nature. From a Chinese perspective, the female is yin, and yin is described as earth, passive, docile, slow, dark, cold, soft, moist, and consuming while the male is Yang and represents the opposite. In Chinese mythology, it is believed that the world went from being formless chaos to what it is today because Yin and Yang at one point became balanced with one another allowing for creation to take form. Today, Yin is always dancing with Yang, sometimes they are balanced and in equilibrium while at other times there is more of one than the other.

Image by disoniador on Pixabay

While women and men may embody many of their respective Yin or Yang qualities, it’s more complex than that because of this dance between Yin and Yang within everything, even ourselves and how that interacts with our actions and interactions as humans. When we think of the feminine as embodied in human form it is receptive, it welcomes with open arms, it is inclusive, it is nurturing and it is love. It is community, it is the great Mother, it is the greater good over the individual, it is peace. When we see the feminine in action, we see a bountiful existence for all. We see equality for all. We see life.

Being feminine means being gentle but not necessarily weak. Being feminine means taking care of oneself in order to best serve her needs and not just the needs of others or the corporation. Being feminine means tuning into all wisdom not just that of the analytical thinking brain. Being feminine means living in harmony with our surroundings recognizing that we are all one sharing in this planet and not extracting from these surroundings in an imbalanced way. Being feminine means being capable of empathizing in order to prevent the mutual damage of otherizing. Being feminine is creating, tapping into that creative flow, in all it’s many forms.

As the Tao suggests, it’s not Yin or Yang, black or white, feminine or masculine? It’s questionable that we should even be using the words feminine and masculine because of their origin. They grew out of a need to describe the traits that were generally observed to be embodied by each respective gender or even imposed on each gender. As the world changes and the concepts of gender are becoming challenged and possibly even obsolete, we may serve ourselves better if we understand the characteristics that were once assumed to be gender specific to be gender neutral and therefore requiring of new terminology. Maybe that’s the best way forward after all. Until that time, I’ll still be talking femininity.

200 Annette Simmons and Areva Martin “Authors and Thought Leaders”

Today the show begins with a conversation with Annette Simmons, a keynote speaker, consultant, and author of four books, including The Story Factor, which is listed in The 100 Best Business Books of All Time. She received a business degree from Louisiana State University, went on to spend ten years in Australia in international business, then received an M.Ed. from North Carolina State University, before founded Group Process Consulting in 1996. Her latest book is titled, Drinking from a Different Well: How Women’s Stories Change What Power Means in Action. Learn more at her book’s website. Today Annette shares her thoughts on the different narrative men and women have around power, how women can come to trust their own instinct, how to resist gaslighting, how women can insist on their own narrative and stick to it, why moral emotions are so important and lots more. I read her book cover to cover in about 1 DAY, so I highly recommend!

In the second half of the show I get to speak with Areva Martin, an award-winning civil rights attorney, advocate, social issues commentator, talk show host, and producer. A CNN legal analyst and Harvard Law School graduate, Martin founded Martin & Martin, LLP, a Los Angeles-based civil rights firm, and is the CEO of Butterflly Health, Inc., a mental health technology company. A best-selling author, Martin has dedicated her fourth book, Awakening: Ladies, Leadership, and the Lies We’ve Been Told, to helping women worldwide recognize, own, and assert their limitless power. Today Areva shares some of her own personal story as it relates to gender inequality, what she’s learned by listening to the stories of other women, the lies that women have been told that have held them back, and how to beat a system that’s (still) rigged against women.

Here’s an astrology report for Friday/Saturday’s New Moon! And here’s a link to register for my Virtual New Moon Circle this Friday, Dec. 3rd at 8pm Eastern.

Today’s show was engineered by Ian Seda of Radio Kingston, www.radiokingston.org.

We heard music from our fave, Shana Falana, http://www.shanafalana.com/

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

Leave me a voicemail with your thoughts or a few words about who has what you want and why! (845)481-3429

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#166 IONE and Lisa Kelley “Ministry of Maåt”

Spring Rebirthing time over here at i want what SHE has. With the shift to Moon-Daze comes a rebirthing of sorts that has slowly been unfolding since the beginning of the year. Stepping into our role as the antidote to the patriarchy, celebrating the feminine as embodied by women identifying, those who honor their intuition, feeling, creativity, community and take good care of themselves and others. I couldn’t have wished for better guests to begin this new unfolding, the ones and only…

IONE, is a dedicated educator, psycho-spiritual therapist and pastoral counselor who specializes in dreams and the creative process. She conducts seminars and retreats throughout the world. She is the Founding Director and Prime Mother of the Ministry of Maåt, Inc. (MoM, Inc.), a spiritual organization specializing in women and community with goals of world harmony and balance. She is a graduate of the Helix Training Program and a Certified Qi Healer. IONE is a noted author, playwright/director and poet and the former Artistic Director of Deep Listening Institute, Ltd.  Both DLI and MoM act to foster harmonious world community.
 
Lisa Barnard Kelley is a vocalist, performance artist, actor, priestess of Maåt and student of Tao. Lisa has performed music and performance art in the Hudson Valley for the last ten years, collaborating with local musicians, actors, puppeteers and visual artists. She has honed her skills over the years in acting, movement, stage direction/design, puppetry, jazz/free improvisation and sound production which she experiments with in original performances including elements of spoken word, vocalization, masks, music and movement. She dedicates her craft to exploring the open field of vocal expression from within and through the guidance of her mentors. She is a Deep Listening Certificate Holder and the Director of Perla Productions. She received her B.A. in Performance Studies at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Of course we chat about dreaming, dream awareness, dreaming together, deep listening and so much more. Thanks to Ione and Lisa for being such divine humans doing amazing work to harmonize and balance our beautiful world. You can find The Big Dream Festival goodness here! And their Facebook page here!

Today’s show was engineered by Jaguar Mary X, host of the Midnight Medicine Journey, AND produced, hosted, and edited by me, Theresa, so please forgive any hiccups.

Our show music is from Shana Falana !!!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT

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#162 “Caliban and the Witch” Part 2 Book Discussion

Happy Women’s History Month! In collaboration with Women’s History Month Kingston, we continue the discussion of Silvia Federici’s Caliban and the Witch. This week we’re discussion Chapter 2, “The Accumulation of Labor and the Degradation of Women: Constructing ‘Difference’ in the ‘Transition to Capitalism'” and it’s myriad of topics including: Capitalist Accumulation and the Accumulation of Labor in Europe; Land Privatization in Europe, the Production of Scarcity and the Separation of Productions from Reproduction; The Price Revolution and the Pauperization of the European Working Class; The State Intervention in the Reproduction of Labor: Poor Relief, and the Criminalization of the Working Class; Population Decline, Economic Crisis, and the Disciplining of Women; The Devaluation of Women’s Labor; Women: The New Commons and the Substitute for the Lost Land; The Patriarchy of Wage; The Taming of Women and the Redefinition of Femininity and Masculinity: Women the Savages of Europe; Colonization, Globalization, and Women; Sex, Race and Class in the Colonies; Capitalism and the Sexual Division of Labor. Next week, we dive into Chapter 3, “The Great Caliban: The Struggle Against the Rebel Body.” Let us know your thoughts and questions!

Who’s in this conversation?

Rakel Stammer is an artist and teacher who primarily works in painting and drawing, but also dabbles in sound, installation, collage, writing, photography, printmaking and performance. Her work has been published in several magazines, anthologies and journals across the world and she has exhibited in Denmark, Sweden and the U.S. She was on the show before, pre-COVID in October 2019, talking about her series “The C%#& (C-word) Drawings” completed during a residency at Deer Creek Collective. Rakel speaks publicly and writes about capitalism, art, trauma, dominance and violence, seen through an anti-capitalist, intersectional feminist lens!

Carolita Johnson is a cartoonist (The New Yorker magazine) and illustrator from NYC. She spent 13 years in Paris, France, after graduating from Parson’s School of Design with a degree in Fashion Design. In Paris, she earned a masters degree in Modern Letters and Linguistics, and got some (admittedly very idiosyncratic) chops in pre-doctoral Medieval Anthropology, which turned out to be her gateway drug to cartoons and illustration. She is also a writer, has appeared on HBO and NPR, performed in various esteemed settings, is an alumnus of the O+ Festival, and most recently added teaching via SUNY New Paltz to her list of accomplishments.

FEMINIST ACTION! Support NY Caring Majority’s efforts to increase the wages for home care workers. Call Senate and Assembly leadership and let them know that #FairPay4HomeCare is a win-win for all New Yorkers! Let us know once you make the call here: https://docs.google.com/…/1FAIpQLSfxBCAC…/viewform…

Senate Majority Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins, (518) 455-2585

Speaker of the Assembly Carl Heastie, (518) 455-3791

SCRIPT: Hello, my name is [YOUR NAME]. I’m calling to urge [THEIR NAME] to include Fair Pay 4 Home Care in this year’s one-house budget and ensure that home care workers receive a wage of at least 150% of the minimum wage. Because of the current low pay, New York is the center of a workforce shortage in this sector, with even more home care workers leaving the workforce in droves right when we need them most. This is forcing many seniors and people with disabilities to live in nursing homes instead of receiving their services at home. Assemblymember Dick Gottfried and Senator Rachel May are sponsoring this budget priority, and the bill number is S5374. Will you include Fair Pay 4 Home Care in the one-house budget?

Theresa and Ana’s New Moon Virtual Circle “Triple Goddess: Maiden, Mother Crone” – Saturday, March 13th 7-9pm

Today’s show was engineered by Nick Panken, host of Freedom Highway, AND produced, hosted, and edited by ME, Theresa, so please forgive any hiccups.

Our show music is from Shana Falana !!!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT

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#160 Jordan Scruggs, Arlene Coffey and Rachel Collins “Hustle Hard Girl!”

Today, I welcome back Jordan Scruggs, Director of the New Start for Women Program at SUNY Ulster. She was a guest way back in the day on Nov. 7, 2018 for Episode No. 42 and then again on Sept. 12, 2019 for Episode No. 86. I obviously love her! Jordan is joined today by two phenomenal women.

Arlene Coffey is 32 years old, a proud mama and a lover of life. She began New Start for Women through SUNY Ulster in July of 2020, where she is currently working on a certificate in General Management. Being in New Start has helped her to remember her passion for the business world and learning in general and she is enjoying the process of finding herself again. She loves being creative and has been doing a press-on nail venture on the side for fun during Covid season. She has high hopes for owning her own business one day and helping other women to find their voices and follow their dreams.

Rachel Collins is 41 years old and currently a full-time student at SUNY Ulster, where her major is Business and Entrepreneurial Studies. She has a license in esthetics and hopes to start her own skincare business from home once she completes her associates degree this spring. Her journey toward this goal started with New Start for Women as a member of the first cohort. Rachel graduated from the program with a certificate in General Management in May of 2020. In her downtime she enjoys reading, watching murder mysteries, playing Call of Duty with her 18-year-old son and snuggling with her cat, Arya.

Both of them share their life journeys which have included hardship, doubt, fear, resilience, perseverance, self-love, self-care, and hustle. Congrats ladies on being role models to all of us!

Applications to join the program are open until March 31st. You can contact Jordan directly at 845-303-3400 or scruggsa@sunyulster.edu.

Starting next week! Caliban and the Witch book discussion, a part of WHMK.org, is happening throughout the month of March. Join in the conversation by emailing me, or commenting on Instagram or Facebook as you tune in for some fun and fiery conversation with Rakel Stammer and special guests.

Today’s show was engineered by Nick Panken, host of Freedom Highway, AND produced, hosted, and edited by ME, Theresa, so please forgive any hiccups.

Our show music is from Shana Falana !!!

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT

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#117 “Surviving COVID with Girlfriends” with Jen Donovan, Ilissa Viviani, Michelle Renar, Kristen Uhl and Nellie Hill

Today I catch up with 5 women whose work and lives have been affected by the global pause. They share where they are at both personally and professionally, what’s been a challenge, what’s changed for the better or the worse, how they envision going back to work, what they’re grateful for, what they miss, and how they’ve leaned on each other to get through it all. Thanks for joining ladies! I hope y’all get to hug each other soon too!

Jennifer Donovan is back for a COVID catch up. Founder of Le Shag a full service hair and beauty salon based out of Kingston, NY. Jen has continuously evolved and innovated her business model to expand into Glo Spa, the Le Shag Capsule soon to be opening into Stone Ridge, Le Shag Weddings, Le Shag Academy and the Hudson Valley Beauty Collective. Today, she’s gathered some of her gal pals to talk with me about life during quarantine and after juggling the business pivots, childcare and loan paperwork, Jen is looking forward to a real vacation once this is over.

Ilissa Viviani, Le Shag Salon Coordinator, is currently working from home and fielding the numerous calls by clients eagerly awaiting their hair appointments. Le Shag has been offering color kits and Zoom consults in order to temporarily support their clients patiently awaiting their re-opening. She is also excitingly going to be partnering on the new Le Shag Capsule in Stone Ridge. Seven months pregnant, Ilissa has enjoyed the slowing down and connecting with local Kelder Farms for her fresh local veggies each week.

Michelle Renar, Owner of Hudson Valley Body Works, opened her small private practice in the historic stockade district of uptown Kingston in 2004. Prior to that Michelle interned at the Caprini Pain Treatment Center and the Ronald McDonald House in Manhattan and helped facilitate the first massage therapy program for the Kingston Hospital, working for 4 years in the hospital setting providing massage therapy for OB patients. She is certified in cancer and terminal illness massage, she is also a Certified Educator of Infant Massage and a Registered Diagnostic Ultrasonographer. Michelle has been connecting with others in the massage community to build best practices and share thoughts and plans for moving forward once things re-open, but is also hoping to maintain the balance that she’s achieved with this forced slow down of her life.

Nellie Hill, is the Owner of Nellie Hill Events, a boutique wedding design and production company for creative couples planning a destination wedding in the Hudson Valley, Catskills and beyond. Nellie has been producing and designing events for the past 10 years in the Hudson Valley. She has had a passion for parties and events from the time she could walk and talk. Nellie graduated from Marist College with a bachelor’s degree in Communications and has a background in the service industry. Nellie just had her second child during COVID and shares how she’s most looking forward to celebrating her new baby and connecting with family when we’re out of quarantine.

Kristen Uhl, is the Director of the Very Little Red Schoolhouse, a NY licensed day care center that is located in Hurley, NY. They are an infant and toddler program that offers care for children six weeks to three years of age who strives to provide a fun and safe learning environment for the children to grow every single day. Kristen struggled with whether to stay opened or closed and eventually made the difficult decision to protect herself and her staff and close for the remainder of the NY PAUSE. Kristen is grateful to her girlfriends for their support during the challenges of the past few months, and looks forward to the return of big, messy family dinners with her many siblings.

Thank YOU Ladies!

Today’s show was engineered by Manuel Blas of Radio Kingston, www.radiokingston.org.

We heard music from our fave, Shana Falana, http://www.shanafalana.com/

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

Leave me a voicemail with your thoughts or a few words about who has what you want and why! (845)481-3429

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT 🙂

http://iwantwhatshehas.org/podcast

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#111 Andrea Shaut “Pianist and First Female Common Council President”

Andrea Shaut@andreaforkingston is the first Alderwoman-at-Large, female Council President for the City of Kingston, the 2nd highest ranking position within the city government. It’s been a LONG TIME COMING! Andrea is also a prominent musician in the Hudson Valley music scene. She has been the piano accompanist and rehearsal assistant for the prestigious West Point Military Academy Glee Club since 2010, performing across the country at renowned theater venues, hospitals, stadiums, and schools. Andrea founded the Hudson Valley Recital Project, a recital series featuring professional and student musicians, with the mission to strengthen community and education through music. Playing wedding ceremonies since the age of 14, Andrea currently runs her own business, HV Ceremony Music, providing music for weddings and special events.

Today we talk about life, music, health and governing. Her road to politics is a fascinating and inspiring story for all you aspiring politicians, hint, hint ladies! We need more women in leadership in government.

Andrea’s an honoree and host for the Women’s History Month Kingston’s event, HERSTORY, this coming Sunday, March 15th from 6-9pm. Reservations are required for this event.

Today’s show was engineered by Maddy Bogner of Radio Kingston, http://www.radiokingston.org.

We heard music from our fave, Shana Falana, http://www.shanafalana.com/

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

Leave me a voicemail with your thoughts or a few words about who has what you want and why! (845)481-3429

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT 🙂

http://iwantwhatshehas.org/podcast

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#110 Nia & Ness “The Power of Love”

Nia and Ness are a black, out-lesbian, dancer-poet performance art duo based in Rosendale, NY. The duo met and became a couple in 2013, and founded their company in 2016. They have performed at multiple venues nationwide, sharing their work that aims at a deeper understanding of their co-reality through intense investigation of their individual identities. They premiered their first evening length work, run., in August 2017, and have been touring run. nationwide ever since.

They have been keynote speakers at the 2018 FLAME Conference at Brown University, and have performed their work at schools such as the University of California Riverside, UC San Francisco and UC Berkeley, NYU, Sarah Lawrence College, Temple University, Bard College, Harvard College and more. The duo has worked with the Sadie Nash Leadership Project Summer Institute and has been featured in a 2017 BRIC TV segment, a documentary for The Advocate, Elle.com, Windy City Times, Dance Writer Australia, BRN GRL WIN, the Daily Voice, Autostraddle and on Radio Free Brooklyn. They’ve also performed at Brooklyn Pride 2017 and Harlem Pride 2018, the Ohio Lesbian Festival in 2018 and 2019, The Michigan Framily Reunion, SisterSpace Festival; were recipients of the BAX Summer 2017 Space Grant, inaugural recipients of the 2018 Virginia Giordano Memorial Fund; and were the winners of the 2017 National Women’s Music Festival Emerging Artist Contest, and named the “Heart Power Couple” for the VORTEX Fire and Brimstone Awards in 2019. In February 2019 at OUTsider Fest in Austin, TX, Nia & Ness premiered their second evening length show titled home. and are currently on tour with this work along with run. To follow them on their journey, check them out on social media @niaandness.

Today they share the story of how they met, how they started working together, what their process looks like, how they collaborate with one another, coming out, and how they take care of themselves and one another.

They are performing a portion of their piece home. followed by a Q&A at the idea garden as a part of Women’s History Month Kingston on Tuesday, March 31st from 7-8:30pm.

home. is our second evening-length dance-poetry piece that deeply explores our daily realities as a black, out-lesbian couple living and loving in New York. This piece goes beyond glimpses into our living; it hones in on the details of our experiences and provides grounding for the accompanying emotions. Along with sharing our everyday interactions with “micro” aggressions, personal historical trauma, and making visible the impacts of violence, we highlight our love as a healing force, potent enough to transform our pain into power.

Today’s show was engineered by Maddy Bogner of Radio Kingston, http://www.radiokingston.org.

We heard music from our fave, Shana Falana, http://www.shanafalana.com/

Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org

Leave me a voicemail with your thoughts or a few words about who has what you want and why! (845)481-3429

** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IT 🙂

http://iwantwhatshehas.org/podcast

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#72 Sarah Van Buren “Disco is Long Life” + Art in Public Spaces

Today, Theresa’s live from Outdated Lite in Kingston, NY, mixing things up to talk about how to be in community with one another, about connecting through music and art and about why we should collaborate creatively in public spaces instead of regulating them, but first, a convo with Sarah Van Buren, a woman of many talents and A LOT of musical cred.

#32 Judy Linn (Patti Smith 1969-1976 : Photographs) / Jessica Vecchione (Smacked Documentary) “Photographs of the Imaginary Past”

Today we’re shouting out to Vote Save America, AND the NY Times podcast from last weekend, The Last "Year of the Woman".

Our first guest is Judy Linn, photographer and Vassar professor, best known for her book Patti Smith 1969-1976 : Photographs by Judy Linn. Judy talks about her relationship to photography which started out quite rocky and quickly becomes the thing that she needs to try and figure out leading her to a lifelong relationship with the art form, and a very successful career. Judy has had portfolios published in Artforum and BOMB magazine, and her photographs are included in the collections of the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, the Detroit Art Institute, the Dallas Museum of Art, and the Getty Collection, among others. She has received an award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters and grants from the Louis Comfort Tiffany Foundation, Anonymous Was A Woman, and the Peter S. Reed Foundation. Judy shares so honestly about her life and her unique perspectives including her belief that all photographs lie. She’s working on another book of photography taken in the early 70’s from her time in Detroit working for a local paper. Can’t wait for this…hint, bouffant hair and pointy collars.

Our second guest is Jessica Vecchione, videographer and documentarian. Her company is Vecc Videography, she’s been an accomplished videographer in the Hudson Valley for over 20 years. She recently released SMACKED, her new documentary film about the opiate crisis. This 69 minute film was her way of truly uncovering all that is happening with the police, the health care system, and those who struggle with the addiction. Jessica shares how she really broke through in film by making a documentary about the town of Fleischmans. She works with many nonprofits in the Hudson Valley and across New York State. Jessica’s advice to aspiring videographers/filmmakers, just do it, follow your passion, and be kind along the way

Self care! Be KIND!!! Move from the heart space. Don’t fall into the patriarchal trap of operating from the analytical mind.

Vote Save America: | NY Times Podcast "Year of the Woman:

Today’s show was engineered by Manuel Blas of Radio Kingston, http://www.radiokingston.org.
We heard music from Shana Falana, http://www.shanafalana.com/, and audio from the film, She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry, http://www.shesbeautifulwhenshesangry.com

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